Facts You Always Wanted To Know But Were Afraid To Ask About
Thomas Crapper invented the flush toilet. Hence, "to take a crap". I can think of many ways for my name to be remembered, but that isn't one of them.
Poet Hart Crane's father invented Life Savers candy. Crane committed suicide by jumping off a cruise ship into the Gulf of Mexico. Defying all logic, there is really no connection between the two facts. Dare I say he did not have a life saver?
Famous last words:
~"Why, they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--." Union General John Sedgewick at The Battle of Spotsylvania Courthouse, 1864.
~"It is nothing." Archduke Ferdinand after being shot. His assassination led to World War I and over 22 million killed and wounded.
~"Bourbon." Actress Talulah Bankhead
Facts, some anyway:
Tailoring is the world's oldest profession, not prostitution. When Adam and Eve saw they were naked they "sewed fig leaves together and made themselves aprons." Genesis 3:7
Ladies began to turn tricks when they discovered they could make more money without the fig leaves.
Left and right shoes were not made until 1818. Which could be why Napoleon said an army travels on its stomach. On the long march to Moscow maybe their feet hurt and they began crawling.
Besides eight legs, octopuses have three hearts and two kidneys. It has a decentralized nervous system so that if you cut off a leg, it will crawl over you. They are the closest creatures to Martians that we know on Earth.
Only adult male crickets chirp. If you count the number of chirps in fifteen seconds, then add forty, you have the approximate temperature Fahrenheit. However, the females are beginning to complain that there is no time for hanky-panky on a nice night.
A ten gallon hat holds about three quarts. You can always ask for your money back.